Monday, January 9, 2017

New Year...Another Resolution?

I  have to admit I have never been one to really make a new year's  resolution. I mean seriously every day I tell myself to eat healthy, workout, don't put that candy in your mouth...and every day I go to bed and say to myself that tomorrow is a new day and I can start over.  I'm not that hard on myself because I wake up the next morning and butter my toast for breakfast.

As 2017 approached I really started thinking about resolutions and what I wanted to get out of this new year.  A lot has changed for me this past year.  Becoming a mother has changed me in so many ways.  For the better, but still.  I don't live for myself anymore.  I wake up each and every day hoping to be the best mom I can be.  There are so many nights that I lie awake questioning if I did the right thing.  If I loved on her enough.  If  I fed her the right amount of food.  If Matilda knows that I love her. I question so much internally.  Before becoming a mother I knew that I would be a good mother some day.  I knew that I had such a desire and a love for children.  I have spent my entire career being an advocate for children.  I was so confident when I was pregnant that I would be the best mommy there was for my little one.  But when I became a mother that confidence that I once had decided to hide.  When you first become a mother you worry so much.

I want Matilda to have the best life she can have.  I want her to know that she is loved and that she is the best thing that has ever happened to our little family.  I want her to know that we are here for her no matter what.  I want Matilda to know that we, her father and I, will do everything in our power to make sure that she is safe.

So, no I will not be making a resolution this year for myself.  Instead I will make sure that I continue to be the best mommy to my little girl there is. I know that I am doing a great job and that I will continue to do so and that is all I can do.  I will continue to love on her and make her have the best life I can.