Wednesday, December 28, 2016

which BREAST is best




have hesitated writing this blog post for a long time, but when i see things posted about breastfeeding i just thought i would share my experience...

even before i became pregnant i would always hear people and their opinions on breastfeeding-among a million other things...i have discussed in previous posts how i did absolutely ZERO research while i was pregnant...i can honestly say that i am a million times a different mother than i thought i was going to be and i could not be happier (and neither could my husband)...i thought i would be a total granola, research everything kind of mom and i couldn't be further from that...which for me and my family is great...when it came to breastfeeding everyone would always ask me if i was going to try/do it and my answer always remained the same...i would tell them that if my body allowed me to breastfeed then i would...i would not worry about my milk supply coming in or drinking tea other liquids to help me or take pills...i am a firm believer that if it is meant to be then it will be...call it faith...call it what you will...but it has worked for me and i am a happy camper with my choices...

once matilda came into the world and we tried feeding for the first time i had no problem at all with my left breast (which is the breast i tried first) everything seemed to work out perfectly and she latched right away... to say i felt great was an understatement...i was on cloud nine...on top of the world...i felt like a pro...she fed on the left side for a few minutes and we went to try the right side and immediately she became agitated and very fussy... she was trying so hard and could not latch...i didn't panic at all and just figured she didn't want to eat at that moment so we stopped...we loved on each other and just enjoyed the quiet after a feeding...a while later i tried to start her on the right side instead this time to see if she was just full the last time... she again became agitated and very fussy...not knowing what was happening i called the nurse and she told me to stimulate my nipple so that is just felipe and i did...or we tried to say the least... there was blowing, there was ice, there was touching and it seemed to harden the nipple, but nothing allowed her to latch...(none of this was remotely sexy anymore like it would have been before baby) i sat there in the hospital bed a little disappointed a little sad and a lot confused, but reminded myself again that what is to be will be and i do not have the power to change certain things...

because i was not able to leave my bed during my week long stay at the hospital i sat there trying to figure out what was wrong with one breast but fine with the other...i tried not to worry until the nurse took my little miss to weigh her and she had dropped an entire pound...that is when i began to freak out...felipe was so good he just kept reassuring me everything would be fine...as instructed i just kept feeding matilda from the left breast and she seemed content...there was simply nothing i could do but that...until it finally dawned on me...my surgery...

when i was in fifth grade they found a lump in my right breast and they immediately removed it...i was fine and all of the test results came back fine...i never thought much about it after the surgery...i have a few scars...but because they have been there for so many years they are just a part of me...i mean they have been there for 20+ years (boy it didn't seem that long ago until i just typed 20+) the way that the doctor had to remove the mass was to cut under, across, and above my breast...so due to the cut my nipple is not able to contract back and forth like my left breast does...i was thrilled to finally figure it out...silly maybe but it made me so happy

the next day...the first day home with our little one...we spent at a lactation specialist trying to figure out ways to have matilda gain that weight back that she lost..during our visit i was hooked up to some concoction with a bottle and a tube that was taped to my breast and then placed in matilda's mouth so she could eat from my breast and have formula at the same time...(if this worked for anyone else i am so happy,,,but for us not so much) the specialist had matilda in and out of her clothes so many times and was moving my sweet little days old baby around and humming in her ear so much that i finally lost it in private but i lost it...i excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried and cried... returning felipe knew i was upset as was he as he held back his own tears as our new baby was screaming crying in someone else's arms...we politely told the specialist that we were ready to go home and we packed up our baby and bags and made our way to our car...as we sat in the car we both just looked at each other and cried... being a new parent is hard and stressful and emotional and then to have your first day out of the hospital like that sent us over the edge...

as we drove home i looked at my husband and told him that i just couldn't do that concoction and that i wouldn't do it and he agreed...thank God... we decided that we as her parents would always make the best choices for her and she would always be taken care of... we would use formula and continue breastfeeding and we would all be fine... and at that moment we both knew that we were already great parents...

if i knew then what i know now... matilda is eight months old and in the 97th percentile for her weight...she weighs well over 20 pounds and is the perfect little miss...and guess what... she has only eaten off of one breast for the last eight months with no formula because this little lady refuses the formula and a bottle...so i guess we were right and followed our own instincts on parenting!!


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