Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Slow start this far...

The new school year is underway and let me tell you it seems like I have been teaching my current class for an entire year already.  My oh my I am exhausted.  I can't believe that I haven't been back in school for a month yet.  I swear that this is going to be the hardest year of my life and not because I have a challenging class.  To be honest they are an amazing group of 31 six year olds...I just think that I wasn't ready to go back to work.  I am trying to keep up, but it is more challenging than I thought it would be.  I can't even imagine how hard it is for my mom being back at work.  The funny thing is is that when I am at work I am typically distracted and I am so busy that the only thoughts I have are those of my students, lesson planning and making sure that no one that is near a peanut allergy child  is eating peanut butter...but then there are the moments that just hit me and I can't help but cry.  There are the times that in our Religion lessons we have to talk about death and our families and the students ask questions and I have to hold back my tears from talking about my brother.  It is hard and I just wonder when it will become easier.  I feel that the car for me is the worst place ever. That is where I spend most of my time crying.  I can't help but to look at every street corner to see if he is standing there...or to look at every bus stop to see if he is getting on or off a bus...or in the car next to me listening to his music...or if he is at any of the places that I would drop him off at...I look for him everywhere...I look at the back door of our house every time I hear the back gate close... just expecting for him to walk in and say hey Lo...I just wait and wait for his number to come up on caller id...I just wait for his face to appear and it just doesn't...It is so strange to know that someone is gone, but to still be waiting to see them again...life has not gotten easier at all for us...for me it gets harder and harder as each day passes...I have been busy in my classroom though with the students working on many centers.  We have made applesauce, and been working on addition facts, as well as completing our unit on bears...we will begin our unit on Johnny Appleseed next week and we are getting ready to take our first field trip to the farm out in Moorpark...I am excited for the coming months with my little ones!

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